Monday, May 28, 2007

Alvida


"
Chupke se kahin, dheeme paaun se

Jaane kis tarah, kis ghadi

Aage badh gaye, humse raahon mein

Par tum toh abhi thi yahin

Kuch bhi na suna, kab ka tha gila

Kaise keh diya alvida

Feeling Lost.Numb.Tired.Betrayed.
Wondering if I really know the people around me. If they are really mine. If they mean what they say to me. I wonder why I cry so much. Why I feel this so often. I wonder why, the ones closest to the heart hurt the most. Aren’t they supposed to love you like you love them? And when it hurts so much, why do they mean the world to you?
I don’t want to be told what I am. I know what I am. I have lived with myself more than what you have. Don’t I know myself better?
I don’t want you to tell me what you mean to me. Isn’t that for me to answer?
Actually, it isn’t for any one to answer. May be we can never show how much a few people have meant to us. Feelings cannot be brought down to mere words, can they?

Memories of the times we laughed together make me cry today. Is it that I have become unknown to what you have become? Or is it that you were always like this and I never knew? Or is it that you ARE a stranger now? Now...were you always one? I wonder.

I wonder why we make promises we never intend to keep? Isn’t a promise an assurance? Do you expect me to trust you after you have assured me never to be assured by you? Not once, but too many times. I can’t smile if I know u aren’t…how can you? Knowing the reason is you?

And I still wonder why you ask for an apology? An eye for an eye? Then feel the way I feel. I want you to. Let me know how it feels.

Forgive me if I can’t understand you.
I can’t understand myself either.
I can understand neither love…nor hatred.
And I still don’t understand why I cry so much.

Jinke darmiya gujri thi abhi

Kal tak yeh meri zindagi

Dono baahon ko, thandi chaanv ko

Hum bhi kar chale alvida

Alvida, alvida, meri raahein alvida

Meri saansein kehati hai, alvida

Alvida, alvida, ab kehna aur kya

Jab tune keh diya, alvida

"


And yes, I will never understand why I got a 75 in English.

3 comments:

Sharanya said...

Mansi?What happened?

Unknown said...

dont worry ur not the only one who feels like this at times...

smilee :D at these times, i know its hard to... but i know you can =)...

jinke darmiya guzrethey abhi..
kal tak yeh meri zindagi ... ...

take care !

Madhuri Guram said...

Very nicely written! :)
Pretty neat and really touching :)
This is exactly how I feel most of the times..but probably you could express it better :)
You don't miss him/her, you probably just miss who you thought he/she was!
Anyway, whatever is bothering you, i'm sure you'll get over it someday :) Everything will be fine soon :)

Keep smiling :)
And once again very very well written! :)