No pains...just rains!

R . A . I . N . S








Ecstatic. Delighted. Thrilled.

First showers of RAIN!!!
Sharan and I, simultaneously but individually believe that now that ‘They’ are here, the world will be a happy place again!

A month back.
‘Ma, rains are here!’
‘Its May’ (says without even looking at me)
‘Red FM says rains will b here by May end.’
Silence. Ok I get the point. I am over excited. Ok I AM!!!!!

Today. Out to take my mark sheet from school.
‘I wish it rains!’

An hour later. With friends at ‘Masala Chai’. ‘i would love to watch the rain from here and have a hot cup of tea.’

Few hours later. It smells like rain. I am crossing CBD in my friends car. I remember him. Ankur. ‘I wish he is back from Siddhivinayak.’ Think again…I don’t think he will. Take a chance. I call. He is back. YES!!!



Few minutes later. Waiting near his building. Anxious to see him. Don’t know why though. It starts to rain. Estatic! He is here. Delighted. He looks amazing. Thrilled.

Minutes later. Trying to persuade my friends that I am capable of taking my bike (MY new BIKE) from the Kharghar station to my place. (my bike was parked there). Its raining hard now. IT’S FINALLY RAINING!!!!!!!!!
And I cant miss it. ‘I am going. Just get my cell and mark sheet till my place. PLEASE.’
Don’t wait for an answer. Can’t. I get out of the car. Oh yes….I am out. (in case you don’t know, the parking is on top of the station. I feel the rain. Drenched in a minute. I see the mountains around. Feel the breeze. I am lucky girl. I lived to see the rains!!!

Get on to my bike. Rains and my bike. My two most favourite things. I am excited. It’s the first time they meet. My bike and the rains. I got ‘her’ jus two months back!

By the time I reach home, my new WHITE jeans are red because my new RED top gives out colour! I will sue Hakoba! But I am still glad (yea even after ruining my best pair of jeans…)
Get home. My maid and mum fuss over my jeans. I go to change. By the time I am back, my friends have left. I call up to thank them.
Phew, sit in my balcony, Ankur calls. It’s his habit to call me on my happiest and saddest times!

Talk to Asmi. I am happier!

Rains are one of those times when I really like being alone. Ahh Rains! I go down for a walk. I am crossing the park in the colony. Its flooding. And there they are, those little kids. Playing in the muddy water. I want to be a kid again!(again?)

I can’t resist. I take my cell out. I HAVE to capture this day. They pose for me most willingly. Can’t you see??? Hehe

They are asking me 2 join them. I KNOW it will be fun. I think what people around will think. I give a damn…I step inside ‘The Pool of Muddiest Rain Water’…and I see my mum coming from the other side. Ok, I am out in no time (and clean). Darn. I wish I could just once play along with them. But never mind, the rains are here to stay. Hehe!

Its evening. I call my friends over for Mum’s Paani puri treat. Hmm…I AM happy today!!!

Of all the things, we DANCE!!! Music on full blast! FUN!

The sun is setting. I am on my bike again. Listening to Alvida. Today I don’t want to wear a helmet.

Its night. I go up to the window when I am in the middle of this post. Look up at the sky. See the wet road. Smell the rain. The fun has just begun….


(Official Photographer Mansi Shukla. Love the leaves!)

Alvida

"

Chupke se kahin, dheeme paaun se

Jaane kis tarah, kis ghadi

Aage badh gaye, humse raahon mein

Par tum toh abhi thi yahin

Kuch bhi na suna, kab ka tha gila

Kaise keh diya alvida

Feeling Lost.Numb.Tired.Betrayed.
Wondering if I really know the people around me. If they are really mine. If they mean what they say to me. I wonder why I cry so much. Why I feel this so often. I wonder why, the ones closest to the heart hurt the most. Aren’t they supposed to love you like you love them? And when it hurts so much, why do they mean the world to you?
I don’t want to be told what I am. I know what I am. I have lived with myself more than what you have. Don’t I know myself better?
I don’t want you to tell me what you mean to me. Isn’t that for me to answer?
Actually, it isn’t for any one to answer. May be we can never show how much a few people have meant to us. Feelings cannot be brought down to mere words, can they?

Memories of the times we laughed together make me cry today. Is it that I have become unknown to what you have become? Or is it that you were always like this and I never knew? Or is it that you ARE a stranger now? Now...were you always one? I wonder.

I wonder why we make promises we never intend to keep? Isn’t a promise an assurance? Do you expect me to trust you after you have assured me never to be assured by you? Not once, but too many times. I can’t smile if I know u aren’t…how can you? Knowing the reason is you?

And I still wonder why you ask for an apology? An eye for an eye? Then feel the way I feel. I want you to. Let me know how it feels.

Forgive me if I can’t understand you.
I can’t understand myself either.
I can understand neither love…nor hatred.
And I still don’t understand why I cry so much.

Jinke darmiya gujri thi abhi

Kal tak yeh meri zindagi

Dono baahon ko, thandi chaanv ko

Hum bhi kar chale alvida

Alvida, alvida, meri raahein alvida

Meri saansein kehati hai, alvida

Alvida, alvida, ab kehna aur kya

Jab tune keh diya, alvida

"

And yes, I will never understand why I got a 75 in English.

FATHOMS

When I feel the cold breeze across my face
I wonder if, on yours, it left a trace
‘Coz I feel your touch in the breeze
Wonder with what force, my soul, you seize.

Forgive me,
No matter what I do,
I can never stop loving you.

In the first showers of the rain,
I lay bare all my pain.
To kill thoughts which never leave me at ease,
And forever live on our memories.

Forgive me,
No matter what I do,
I can never stop loving you.

And when I see the golden sky,
I know for sure my heart wont lie.
My eyes relish the setting sun between the palms,
While an aching heart longs to be in your arms.

Forgive me,
No matter what I do,
I can never stop loving you.

How once you looked like everybody,
And now everybody looks like you.
The harder I try to forget you,
The more I fall in love with you.

Forgive me,
No matter what I do,
I can never stop loving you.

I wouldn’t ask you how, I wouldn’t ask you why,
I wouldn’t ask you to give us a second try.
For I know our love is and forever will be true,
For it is in your darkest times that my love for you will brew.

Forgive me,
No matter what I do,
I can never stop loving you.

Life feels empty without you,
I badly want to hear that you love me too
But you have decided to leave,
But this will forever be my belief,

Forgive me,
No matter what I do,
I can never stop loving you.

The poems incomplete…. And I don’t think I can complete it. Just a feel of how life will be without ‘my life’….
Ok cheer up people…no sob sobs allowed here!(and yes everythings fine!..lolz!)
Just reminded of something my mom told me a few days back…
No one around has the capability to hurt you….and I want remember this always!!!

Ahem Ahem....

*clears her throat and wipes the sweat off her forehead*

Hello.
Now that you have gotten in to my blog...YOU have chosen to read what comes. You will read it at your own risk. My writings may range from anything that is highly irritating to highly romantic. Sometimes there is no content, no reason to actually write, nothing worth spending time your time on. I have never believed in presenting to others what I write. May be I am to shy. May be I don’t want to be too conspicuous about my feelings. But well…. I do write. Write for people. Write about people. But seldom let people see it. I feel…umm…may be a little uncomfortable. This is my first try. I am still writing for myself….to myself. I might be glad if you read, but I really won’t mind if no one does! I don’t expect many to! But yes…. I shall still write!